I know you’re mad at me and I would be too.

I lied yes but I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want any of this. Ever since that boat my life has been turned upside down and the ONLY thing that is keeping me together is you. I can’t even go a day without thinking of you and thinking about how easy it would be to just run away from all of this. Just pick up and go. We’ll fucking run to the Evergarden or something and live in the ruins of Miami. Hunt some fish and drink alcohol or whatever still remains. I think about it every day and each time I do it becomes more and more appealing. But you know that’s not the life either of us could live.

We’d be at each other’s throats in two months, so ready to fight something else that we just turn that on each other. Listen, I want us to grow old one day, but in order for us to do that, we have work to do now. I can’t just get up and leave it yet and you wouldn’t let me.

But I know I know, I messed up. I meant to call but things changed, you know how quickly they can.

I was on my way to the subway when I got a call from Hill. We had spotted the Golden in Paris and I just…saw red I guess. I ran to the way mirror and I left my jacket and you with it I suppose. When I came back I saw your messages and what you said. All deserved. I know you’re upset and I know I broke the promise made. You kept your end and I failed to keep mine and regardless of the outcome, regardless of whatever happened, it does not excuse me from my responsibilities to you. I accepted this relationship not with the intention to destroy it, but with the intention to honor my feelings for you. Those of which are unending. I’m sorry, I am. I pulled a couple strings if you wanted to try again. There shouldn’t be an issue with reservations. I had Orion buy the entire restaurant. I’ll be waiting for you at table seven, next to the window. Same time.

Russell